Absence

Hello blog!
It has been so long since we have joined forces to talk about my life/thoughts.
I really don't think anyone reads this, except for me.
Maybe I'll post the link on facebook or something. Haha.
I went back and read my other entries and it's weird how a lot of the things I said I still think about now.
I'm still wondering "Who is Emily?"
Maybe that's something that everyone wonders about from time to time.
I may not know exactly who I am, but I know that I am a loved, redeemed child of God. And that's the most important part to know about!

This summer was amazing. Not that I expected anything less than that.
Being an RC was a lot different, but it was a lot of fun. God blessed me with so many amazing campers, VCs, program teams, and fellow staffers. It was just an overall great experience.
I'm so thankful for camp. So thankful that God has let me be apart of the ministry there, and let it be a ministry to me, too. Camp is home and I absolutely love it. Love the community that makes camp what it is.
I'm going to camp tomorrow to facilitate ropes. Wooo!

Since the end of the summer I haven't been very busy. I interviewed for a position in Chicago with an urban missions organization. I didn't get it, but it was still really promising and I hope I get an opportunity to work with them in the future. I'm still actively pursuing mission work. You'd think it would be pretty easy to get hooked up with something, but it isn't. I've been doing a lot of searching, and a lot of waiting. Sometimes that's what you have to do. God has blessed me with patience and I know that with every door that closes, there is another door out there that is open, waiting for me to find it and walk through it.

I will write more later today!
If anyone's reading this, I hope you are having a fabulous day. Love!
-Em

Community

Yesterday I was thinking. Ya know, I do that a lot.
Anyways, I was thinking about peaks and valleys. Brokenness and community.
I want to lead a life where, amongst the brokenness and chaos in the world, I strive to hold on to community.
Community is a necessity in this world. Without it, where would we be? We weren't made to go through this life alone.
So then I was thinking...throughout life we travel a journey plagued with valleys and graced with peaks. They both make us appreciate the other and help us learn from each part of our journey.
I was thinking though...there are so many people in the world that are in a valley they don't feel they can climb out of. It's too steep.
I want to climb down from my peaks and help people out of their valleys. Help them climb. Give them that extra push or a hand to hold onto for support. Carry them if I need to.
Isn't that part of community? Supporting and encouraging one another? Helping when it's needed?
Not to be cheesy or cliche, but I think that's what Jesus would do.
I hope this finds you on a peak, overlooking the beauty that is life. But, if this finds you in a valley, I hope you know it's okay to accept a helping hand to emerge from the darkness that surrounds you.
May God's love be with you. Always.

Faith.

Sooo, today I was thinking about faith.
About how faith the size of a mustard seed can move mountains.
Which made me think... If faith the size of a mustard seed can move mountains, what could faith the size of mountains move?
Just a thought.
I think it's amazing how God works through us. How He uses us daily. But...we have to let Him. So, I think it's cool that so many people allow Him to work through them. I don't know...it's just....nifty.
Our God is indeed an AWESOME God.

Hugs and love.

Duck. Duck. GOOSE!

Monday evening I went to a campground with my cousins that were in from Michigan and my sister, bro-law and oldest nephew. It had been years since I'd been to this campground...but, it was the one that we always camped at when I was growing up. It hadn't changed much except there were a lot more RVs than I remember. RV camping isn't real camping. Just saying.
Anywho...we found my cousins after a trek across the campground. My oldest cousin, Penni, wanted to watch the sunset so we told her about the beach on the other side and she got all sorts of excited. So we went over there. Off to the side of the beach there was a rock barrier...I don't know how to describe it. Just a lot of big rocks piled up. I guess it was serving as a type of dam. I don't know. Anyways, I walked over there. At the end of the path of rocks, I saw a canadian goose. I decided I wanted to walk out on the rocks and sit there to watch the sunset. This was a bit tricky, as the rocks randomly shifted when you stepped on them. I felt like I was on a moving balance beam. I held my tongue just right though, so I didn't fall to my death or anything. Obviously.
So, I walked out about halfway. I didn't want to walk over to the goose because it looked like it was sitting on a nest. Didn't want to bother it. Then I sat down. And it was actually pretty comfortable. Yay for big rocks that have flat services.
I watched the sunset. And every once in a while I'd look over at the goose, and it would be looking at me. But it never flew away. It sat on it's nest. I think it decided I wasn't a threat. It was just really neat.
It was so...somber. A dragonfly flew by. There was a slight breeze. I could hear the kids behind me laughing and having a good time. Birds were singing. And the view was amazing.
Here's a picture that my sister took while she was sitting on the beach. :]. That lil person to the right is me. And the person behind me is one of my cousins. She came out there for a bit, but didn't stay long.

Hope this finds you well.
Hugs and love.

Yipppeeee!

Excitement!
I'm going to be a Resident Counselor at Lakeshore this summer.
I'm absolutely stoked.
I'm going to miss PUF a lot, but...last year when I went in to interviews I wanted RC...and...this is obviously where God wants me to be. :)
I'm so so nervous about the summer, but I know that God is going to work out all the kinks.
It's going to be interesting, transitioning from Activity Staff to RC...hrm. Yay for something new. For a challenge.
Abbie went from AS to RC last summer...and she did a rockin job.
I was soo nervous during interviews. So so nervous. And I cried, which I wasn't real fond of, but hey...it happens.
I'm sooo soo excited. May 21st can't come fast enough.
Oh, and I'll be 20 in 20 days. That's pretty exciting too, I guess. Although it makes me feel old. Haha.
My cousins are down from Michigan. I need to go see them. Will probably do that a little later today.
This is probably going to end up being a bit of a prayer blog. I don't post on here much...but, hopefully that'll change.
I woke up at like 5 this morning. I'm so tired. A nap sounds good. Haha.
Anyways...I'm so blessed to be a part of the ministry at Lakeshore again this summer! I'm excited to see what God has in store for us all. I look forward to all of the campers that will be a part of my life and I just pray that we as a staff help them have an amazing experience at camp.
I'm also excited to start working on my application for CSM more. They start taking applications for the fall internship in June. Eeek! I hope something happens with this...if it's God's will.
I got to talk to Ms. Wiggins at interviews...she's so wonderful. I love her. She's amazing. And she might be going to Ireland on a mission trip! Ah! I wanna be like her when I'm her age...exploring the world and showing God's love. She's been to Antartica! And Cuba!! She has sooo many amazing stories. I just want to go spend a week with her and listen to her the entire time.

Anywho...I think I am going to go take that nap. Maybe outside on the trampoline. :D

I hope you are all well [even though I don't think anyone really reads this...but...if you do.]
Love!!!

Camp, Cleaning, Palindromes...Oh my!

Welll...life is just all sorts of crazy.
Crazy good. Crazy complicated.
Finally sent in my application for camp.
And I got a job. :) Well, a kind of job.
I'm cleaning a house. Today was my first day. I hope I did okay. :/
It's for a family that I go to church with. It just kind of happened.
I haven't heard back from her tonight, and she said that that would be a good thing. Haha. Sooo...guess I'll see tomorrow night at church?
God keeps providing in the most mysterious ways.
I like Mountain Dew Voltage.
I also like palindromes.
Well, that's all I've got. Just thought I'd write a little bit. :)
Hope that you are well. Love!

Potter's hands.

We are the clay, and You our potter. [Isaiah 64:8]

This has been going through my head over and over again the last few weeks. Maybe longer.

It's so true. God is the potter. And we're the clay. But...God can't mold us, shape us into what He would have us to be if we won't let Him. Because we're stubborn clay. We dry out too easily. Good thing God can work out the kinks in us.

I think I've been wondering a lot lately about who I am. Who Emily is. I feel like I've changed a lot. And some of the changes are good, but some of them...I'm not real fond of. I guess I just wonder if there's a definition of who I am. I don't really know how to explain it.

So, my plan to do mission work hasn't really worked out. Which is fine, I feel like it's for a reason. I feel like it just isn't God's plan yet. YET. I still feel called. I still have a strong desire to go out into the world and help. To spread God's light for the whole world to see. And it'll happen. Just not yet. And at first, I'm not going to lie, I was really discouraged and sad and angry and disappointed and confused and lost.
Then I started looking at it differently. Like I'm looking at it now.
One of the reasons I think it didn't work out is camp. Before last summer even ended I knew I wanted to reapply. However, when I started getting more and more serious about mission work, I felt like reapplying was going to be doing something I wanted and not necessarily something that God wanted me to do. Something He was calling me to do. And I really want to do whatever is God's plan. I don't want to put my "wants" before Him. So I was afraid that I was going to let my desire to be back at camp get in the way of doing mission work more longterm. But then I realized....I wouldn't have such a strong desire if it wasn't for a reason. A good one. And me and God talked about it. So...I think the mission work not working out might have been His way of letting me know it really is okay to reapply.

It seems so weird that a year has gone by. I feel like I was just applying for staff of 09. Nervous beyond all belief. The tears of happiness when I found out I'd been hired. The best summer of my life that followed. The "chosen" family. Ahhhhhhhhhhh. Amazingness. God-fueled amazingness. There just aren't words for the things I learned last summer. The growth that happened.

So, where am I now? I'm trying to find a job. A task proved to be difficult. That's okay...God keeps providing.
Me and God talk a lot lately. I'm glad. About a year ago I felt like I couldn't pray. In any way. I eventually started writing God "letters" and those were my prayers...and just recently I've started praying out loud. Even in front of people. I'm feeling more confident in it. I'm sooo glad.

Well...that's all I've got for now. I'll write later. I hope this finds you well.
Love.

Fresh.

Decided to delete all of my blog entries and start fresh. Not that "all" was a lot...a wopping three, and two drafts.
So, here's to fresh starts.
I'll write more in another entry.
Toodles.